I need to start getting paid to watch some of this shit. I'm breaking format here on this one kiddies so bear with me a little. William Zabka is back for the second installment in the Python series, please God, let it be the last. Zabka is once again Greg Larson, the deputy turned FBI agent turned international shipper? What the hell? OK, try to swallow this one.

Larson has found two more of the mutated pythons in Russia, that’s right, Russia. Anyway the snakes are being kept in an underground military base, as if there are any other kind. Now good old Greg needs to transport these snakes back to the USA so he can collect some serious money. So what does he do? Well, he hires an American truck driver by the name of Dwight Stoddard to haul the snakes for him, get this, because it is cheaper to fly the snakes from Germany than Russia, yup, Greg is trying to save a buck.

Stoddards drop dead gorgeous Russian wife Nadia accompanies her husband on his convoy. Anyway once they get to the base, the snakes have escaped, no real surprise there.

So now Larson and his commando squad, I have no idea where they came from, try to recapture the snakes.

That’s really it, not much else to say. There are two snakes this time around, one is green the other is kinda off green so you can tell them apart easily enough. The effects and the acting are both bad and the script and plot are even worse. I have no doubt there will be a Python 3 because dumbass dipshits like me keep renting this shit.

This one sucks worse than the first Python and that is saying something. The next time I am stupid enough to rent a movie with Python in the title, I guarantee you that it will star Ron Jeremy.

1 of 10