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I need to start getting paid to watch some of this shit. I'm breaking
format here on this one kiddies so bear with me a little. William
Zabka is back for the second installment in the Python
series, please God, let it be the last. Zabka is once again Greg
Larson, the deputy turned FBI agent turned international shipper?
What the hell? OK, try to swallow this one.
Larson
has found two more of the mutated pythons in Russia, thats
right, Russia. Anyway the snakes are being kept in an underground
military base, as if there are any other kind. Now good old Greg
needs to transport these snakes back to the USA so he can collect
some serious money. So what does he do? Well, he hires an American
truck driver by the name of Dwight Stoddard to haul the snakes
for him, get this, because it is cheaper to fly the snakes from
Germany than Russia, yup, Greg is trying to save a buck.
Stoddards
drop dead gorgeous Russian wife Nadia accompanies her husband
on his convoy. Anyway once they get to the base, the snakes have
escaped, no real surprise there.
So
now Larson and his commando squad, I have no idea where they came
from, try to recapture the snakes.
Thats
really it, not much else to say. There are two snakes this time
around, one is green the other is kinda off green so you can tell
them apart easily enough. The effects and the acting are both
bad and the script and plot are even worse. I have no doubt there
will be a Python 3 because dumbass dipshits like me keep renting
this shit.
This
one sucks worse than the first Python and that is saying something.
The next time I am stupid enough to rent a movie with Python in
the title, I guarantee you that it will star Ron Jeremy.
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