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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #480 on: March 26, 2012, 11:31:42 AM » |
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"You're supposed to sit on the toilet facing the OTHER way? I thought the little table was there for your comic books and chocolate milk" ~Butters, South Park. If South Park isnt the greatest show ever, I don't know what is.
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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traumamama
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« Reply #481 on: March 26, 2012, 01:48:03 PM » |
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"You're supposed to sit on the toilet facing the OTHER way? I thought the little table was there for your comic books and chocolate milk" ~Butters, South Park. If South Park isnt the greatest show ever, I don't know what is.
A-ha! I told you you should sit on it that way! I told you! |
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Splatterscribe
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« Reply #482 on: March 27, 2012, 03:34:43 AM » |
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Brian's Mom: "What is he then?"
Wise Man: "What?"
Mom: "What star sign is he?"
Wise Man: "Oh. Capricorn."
Mom: "Capricorn? What's that then?"
Wise Man: "He is the Son of God. He is Messiah!"
Mom: "That's Capricorn, is it?"
Wise Man: "No. It's just him."
Mom: "Ohhhh...alright. Good thing too, otherwise there'd be an awful lot of them. "
-Monty Python's Life of Brian
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Westboro Baptist: Where compassion is a sin.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #483 on: March 27, 2012, 04:22:59 AM » |
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"You're supposed to sit on the toilet facing the OTHER way? I thought the little table was there for your comic books and chocolate milk" ~Butters, South Park. If South Park isnt the greatest show ever, I don't know what is.
A-ha! I told you you should sit on it that way! I told you! my new ring tone on my cell is clip from that episode "Alllright sir I just need to check inside your ass-HOLE" "I dont need you wiping my ass for me. I'm a grown man!" "Yes your a big boy, arent you sir?" "I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I took a big boy poop" |
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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Splatterscribe
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« Reply #484 on: March 28, 2012, 12:03:38 AM » |
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1st soldier( with a keen interest in birds): Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
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« Last Edit: March 28, 2012, 12:07:18 AM by Splatterscribe »
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Westboro Baptist: Where compassion is a sin.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #485 on: March 29, 2012, 05:58:48 AM » |
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"My balls, my balls...............suck em dry" ~Cartman, signing to himself in the back of a cab.
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #486 on: April 02, 2012, 09:06:15 AM » |
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"You're as gay as a fucking football bat" Jonah Hill, The Sitter. I love his character in that one.
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #487 on: May 23, 2012, 06:57:09 AM » |
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"I hate it when people say things like 'we'll pray for you'. Oh so you mean you'll go home and do nothing? If you want to do something for me, go make me a sandwich or something....shit" ~random comedian I caught on Comedy Central at 4:30am on my way out the door to work.... had me rolling....
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #488 on: May 29, 2012, 05:52:33 AM » |
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"Whens the last time you had an actual conversation about anything real or personal that wasn't about sports, celebrities, or pop politics? Without having someone texting or looking at some form of monitor over your head? I saw a woman on national television last night, throw a used tampoon at another woman. What's the point of having a civilization if we no longer have any interest in acting civilized? ~Frank, God Bless America. This was a small part from one of two "monologues" if you will, from Frank that literally had me clapping afterwards.
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« Last Edit: May 29, 2012, 07:17:27 AM by GiveMeGore »
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #489 on: June 18, 2012, 07:45:36 AM » |
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"Hey....how are you? Nice Butt (after a pause) Do you wipe it?" ~Adams Fat Cousin in a wheel chair, Workaholics.
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #490 on: April 18, 2013, 09:06:08 AM » |
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"Bud.....have I ever told you never to marry?"
"Yes Dad"
"Have I ever told you never be a shoe salesman?"
"Yes Dad"
"Ok......well.....I guess I taught you everything I know then"
Married with Children
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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Splatterscribe
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« Reply #491 on: April 18, 2013, 11:08:31 AM » |
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"Marge , the Apocalypse is coming. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe never. But soon."
-Homer Simpson.
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Westboro Baptist: Where compassion is a sin.
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Splatterscribe
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« Reply #492 on: April 22, 2013, 10:57:28 AM » |
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"And, in other news, these Earth Day leaflets are everywhere, littering the streets and making a big mess." - Dennis Miller, SNL Weekend Update, circa 1989.
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Westboro Baptist: Where compassion is a sin.
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GiveMeGore
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« Reply #493 on: April 30, 2013, 10:11:02 AM » |
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"I learned white people don't use a wash cloth. I'm serious. They got one bar of soap in the house. Every time I go to use the soap somebody elses pubic hairs is in it, it's like use a wash cloth. How you goin' stick a raw bar of soap in your butt and all this? What if I want to wash my face....or my feet?" "I heard of trimming the edges. But you don scorched the earth!" ~Leonard Washington  |
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"What is the point of living in a civilization if we are no longer interested in acting civilized? ~God Bless America
Religion is like crack. Give it to the kids early enough and they're hooked. And that shit will fuck you up for life.
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Splatterscribe
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« Reply #494 on: May 14, 2013, 06:24:16 AM » |
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"I don't understand why they're putting him in now. The game is tied and Gene isn't even good under no pressure."
- Bob Belcher, commenting on the coach's decision to let his son have a go at bat, Season 3 finale of Bob's Burgers.
God, I love that show. I'm so glad it's already been renewed for a fourth season.
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Westboro Baptist: Where compassion is a sin.
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