Non-horror bitch session

[Splatterscribe]

I've been using the bike on bus program here in Palm Beach County to get to and from work since my truck finally gave up the ghost once and for all back in May. I have no issue with this. Our bus system is pretty efficient as mass transit systems go and you can't beat the cardio from riding a bike frequently. Plus, I'm saving a boatload of money on gas and car insurance while reducing my carbon footprint.

There are a limited number of drivers operating these buses , so when you utilize the service five days a week, you tend to run into the same ones more than a few times.

Yesterday , one of the bus drivers I've seen a few times walked into a public restroom at the bus transfer station . I was waiting for my next bus to arrive and had decided in the interim to take care of some biological business before hopping on board.
 
No sooner had I finished my business when this guy- a complete stranger who I only know of because he's driven the city bus I've ridden on a few times- walks up to he urinal next to mine , looks right at me and comments "Don't play with it,man, it'll grow." 

I gave this guy the oddest look I could muster and found myself exchanging a fairly horrified glance with another man who was patronizing the restroom ( who was at that moment exiting the stall next to us and had overheard the comment). The bus driver finished his business and exited the restroom without another word (and without washing his hands, by the way) and the other patron and I started laughing and shaking out heads, with me remarking that the comment was really creepy. The guy from the stall agreed.

I washed my hands and stepped out of the restroom..only to find the bus driver standing outside . He demanded  to know what I had said after he left . So I told him . I told this adult stranger with the dreadlocks and  extended belly who looked to be in his fifties at least that what he had done was creepy..and damned if he didn't seem surprised.

...the fuck?  So I had to explain- actually had to break down  for this guy- that walking up to a complete stranger in a public restroom and making any sort of comment alluding to that persons genitalia is creepy. I told him that if he  were an  old college buddy of mine or something,  I could at least wrap my mind around his apparent comfort with walking up to another man in a public urinal and casually referencing his penis.  But being as I don't know him beyond the fact that I get on a bus and occasionally he's the guy driving, the remark  was firmly entrenched as the wrong kind of weird . Then I shook my head and began to walk away, which provoked him to he respond "I can shake my head too" before getting back on his bus.

So not only does this guy think that doing this is a perfectly normal interaction between men who don't know one another , he's now somehow surprised and offended by my reaction .

Fuck everything.  If this is where we've gotten to as a culture , then fuck it all. All of it. Look outside. See a tree out there? Well, fuck that tree. Fuck that tree, the leaves its sprouting and the squirrel sitting on one of the higher branches, squeezing out a little rodent turd.

Maybe there's a nice, isolated cave out there  where I can just hole up and ride out this whole  human species
thing.
 

[GiveMeGore]

Maybe there's a nice, isolated cave out there  where I can just hole up and ride out this whole  human species
thing.

Sign me up man....

that was too funny though...... what a fucking creep. That's a total weirdo comment to make. Guarantee if he sat down with a doctor, he'd be prescribed some serious meds.

There's this weird fucking kid I work with at the bar.....  I've been told he's got "Asbergers"   which is a fucking joke. I'm sorry..... nobody has asbergers, it's called being a fucking weirdo. And the meds he's probably on just makes him worse I'm sure. Anyways.....  I've exchanged maybe 8 words with this kid. Usually "what's up man"   or "how's it going" on my passing way to the dishwasher area. I was given a plastic container which had strawberries in it, to clean....   it probably had an inch of strawberry juice left which obviously I'm just dumping down the drain before I clean the container for re-use. This kid comes by me.....  goes "Were strawberries in there?"    "ahhhh Yeah, man. Think so" my response.....  he stands there, starring at me for a solid 5 seconds. "OH I don't want it.....I was just curious"   and still stands there looking at me. Oh you mean you didnt want the 1 ounce of fucking strawberry larries at the bottom of this fucking tub, you fucktard. It was the most awkward exchange in my life. Not to mention I just got to work so OBVIOUSLY I'm stoned to the bejesus belt.....    the next week he walks by me "Oh hey....you get a haircut"     "Yeah man....."    what the fuck? Who fucking says that to another man? "Oh you got a haircut huh"   go fuckyourself, you Re-Re.

[WL Paynecraft]

I would chalk both of your experiences up to awkward communication skills.  Not on your end, the other end.  This would definitely go back to the fact that interpersonal communication has taken a huge step back with the emergence of technology. 

For Splat's example, I've been hit with random, probably inappapropriate urinal talk, usually along the lines of "boy that water's cold", to which you would reply "yeah, it's deep too.".  Then, there's the classic "if you shake it more than 3 times, you're playing with it".  All pretty lame, but usually harmless.  Always uncomfortable.  I think that's all that dude was trying to do.  Now him waiting outside was straight up creepy, and definitely out of line.  That could have easily escalated. 

Gore's example is something I've been caught in before as well, just not to that degree.  I've tried to small talk with people, but then you don't get the response you was expecting, so you have nothing set up for rebuttal.  Then, if the other guy doesn't throw you a line, you are standing there awkwardly.  At that point, the dude should have cut his losses and bolted.  Communication is truly an art.  I'm not taking up for the dude, he might have a screw missing.  BUT, he might also be a terrible communicator.  Probably both.   

[Splatterscribe]

There's this weird fucking kid I work with at the bar.....  I've been told he's got "Asbergers"   which is a fucking joke. I'm sorry..... nobody has asbergers, it's called being a fucking weirdo

Are you kidding? 

Aspergers is a very real condition. It's a form of autism. It's not pleasant for either the person who has it or the people closest to them.  Let me try to break this down in layman's terms:   Most people have a sort of built in psychological control mechanism that allows them to think to themselves in certain situations "Maybe I shouldn't say or do this" or "Maybe the response I'm considering won't be appropriate " , which then allows  them to act accordingly.  Asperger's pretty much takes those controls out of the human system  and the person has no mechanism in place for determining the appropriateness of a response/action or recognizing the unpleasantness provoked by such a response/action.  To put it another way: whatever comes to mind to do or say, the person does it because they don't know what restraint is .

So, for example, you can end up with  a kid sitting in a lobby full of people who starts singing an annoying song out loud and keeps it up despite the fact that everyone in the room is clearly annoyed and even irritated by the sound.  The kid isn't picking up on the signs of distress..he doesn't perceive them. He doesn't get it. Then when someone yells at him angrily to shut up, he's upset because he knows he's done something wrong  again and didn't perceive that it was wrong until after someone reacted to it.   

My twelve year old nephew has Aspergers . He was diagnosed with it around the age of seven. Here is a kid  who has literally been tested off the charts as an academic genius. No shit..he actually rates as a genius, with all A's in his honor's classes. He also has a great, loving heart.

Unfortunately, all of his better qualities are often overshadowed  by a condition that will likely result in varying degrees of social awkwardness and general unpleasantness for  the forseeable future. He does take medication and it helps..to a point. But there's always going to be that level of disconnect and emotional underdevelopment.

Now, according to your logic, he's on the same level as a guy who walks up to me in a  public restroom and starts advising me on how to handle my manhood.


Wow.
 

[GiveMeGore]

With all due respect to your nephew, I think the entire scenario is bullcrap. 40 years ago......screw that, even 20 years ago...... that kid might have been a social outcast, but you know what? He'd continue to thrive in school, most likely graduate from high school at 14 if put in the right classes when his genuis was recognized..... graduated from Harvard at 17, invented some terrific product that genuinely improves our lives, earn millions, and things will be a lot easier on the lad when his supermodel wife is cooking him eggs buck-naked every morning.

But today he'll have a group of doctors poking him with every fucking probe imaginable, diagnosing him with conditions you can't even pronounce, and they'll concentrate on trying to make the kid more sociable...... possibly turning him into a med'd out zombie who can act like he's normal from noon to 6pm when his meds kick in......      I say leave the kid alone, let him be weird, let him find his nitch and let that brain of his show us something special.....  You think Einstein was a hip cat in school? Think he was a ladys man? If he were born in 1991, he'd would have been diagnosed with asperbers, autism, and 14 other made up conditions in the best interest in selling him medication for life.......

[gorific89]

Wow things here never change. I'm going to bitch about living in a rural area with no hopes of ever having a even close to normal speed dsl... Fuck hughsnet fuck wild blue and all that bullshit 80 a month for a tad over dialup speed is complete bullshit. When the hell is europe going to come up with some decent technology and send it here... So fucking ridiculous have the pimpest bachelors pad imaginable and no fucking internet or wifi. People that come over get freaked cus there cellphones stop working, like i planned this shit "yeah out here aint noone hear you scream"

On a lighter note just saw kottonmouth kings in concert. Even in milwauki stil saw the same familiar faces. Buddy was up in front row (his 31st) time apparently and the band was actually shoutin out to him and handin him water n shit throughout the show... cool as shit. Like they actually recognized him the venue was so small. so uber jealous

Also my plant decided to shutdown by next year so that is lame sauce. Seriously fuck kraft.

[traumamama]

When the hell is europe going to come up with some decent technology and send it here...

Considering almost all of our technology comes from here or Asia, you might be waiting awhile.


So, lately I've been trying to deal with how angry I get over the smallest things.  I'm thinking road rage, or the movie theater, or standing in line when the person at the register seems to take for fucking ever, or strangers being rude for no reason.  Just a general "How can people care so little about others?" dilemma.  Then I found this article online randomly about something called the "monkeysphere" and it's truly fascinating.  It's a Cracked article, so it's got humor, but it's a really good read.  Plus, it's written by the guy who wrote "John Dies at the End," which looks like it's going to be a really cool movie.  Anyway, if you have some time to blow, read this.

http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html

[BadKitty]

... it's written by the guy who wrote "John Dies at the End," which looks like it's going to be a really cool movie.  Anyway, if you have some time to blow, read this.

http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html

I have to strongly recommend John Dies at the End to anyone who has not read it.  It is like Hunter S Thompson crossed with Lovecraft, with some hard-boiled private eye mixed in. Really, seriously messed up and funny.

I really, really hope the movie kicks anywhere near as much ass, but the book is absolutely not to be missed.

[traumamama]

... it's written by the guy who wrote "John Dies at the End," which looks like it's going to be a really cool movie.  Anyway, if you have some time to blow, read this.

http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html

I have to strongly recommend John Dies at the End to anyone who has not read it.  It is like Hunter S Thompson crossed with Lovecraft, with some hard-boiled private eye mixed in. Really, seriously messed up and funny.

I really, really hope the movie kicks anywhere near as much ass, but the book is absolutely not to be missed.

I've wanted to read the book for a long time, I know at one point it was available online for free and I missed it.  The author has written a lot of articles for Cracked that I've enjoyed, I need to buckle down and get on Amazon and own the book, because I've only heard good things.

[BadKitty]

I have to strongly recommend John Dies at the End to anyone who has not read it.  It is like Hunter S Thompson crossed with Lovecraft, with some hard-boiled private eye mixed in. Really, seriously messed up and funny.

I really, really hope the movie kicks anywhere near as much ass, but the book is absolutely not to be missed.

I've wanted to read the book for a long time, I know at one point it was available online for free and I missed it.  The author has written a lot of articles for Cracked that I've enjoyed, I need to buckle down and get on Amazon and own the book, because I've only heard good things.

I read it online back in 2006 or so (stuck at the office at midnight, cackling like a loon).  At the end, there was a link saying essentially "if you liked it, please feed the writer by buying a copy," so I went over to cafepress and bought the self-published version.  I understand the later professional editions fixed spelling and stuff, but that seems like no fun.  i really, really, REALLY want to get it signed some day....

[GeneralCinema]

I have to strongly recommend John Dies at the End to anyone who has not read it.  It is like Hunter S Thompson crossed with Lovecraft, with some hard-boiled private eye mixed in. Really, seriously messed up and funny.

I really, really hope the movie kicks anywhere near as much ass, but the book is absolutely not to be missed.

I've wanted to read the book for a long time, I know at one point it was available online for free and I missed it.  The author has written a lot of articles for Cracked that I've enjoyed, I need to buckle down and get on Amazon and own the book, because I've only heard good things.

I read it online back in 2006 or so (stuck at the office at midnight, cackling like a loon).  At the end, there was a link saying essentially "if you liked it, please feed the writer by buying a copy," so I went over to cafepress and bought the self-published version.  I understand the later professional editions fixed spelling and stuff, but that seems like no fun.  i really, really, REALLY want to get it signed some day....

David Wong is actually the senior editor of Cracked.com

[traumamama]

I read it online back in 2006 or so (stuck at the office at midnight, cackling like a loon).  At the end, there was a link saying essentially "if you liked it, please feed the writer by buying a copy," so I went over to cafepress and bought the self-published version.  I understand the later professional editions fixed spelling and stuff, but that seems like no fun.  i really, really, REALLY want to get it signed some day....

Placed my order, should have it in hand by Wednesday!

[Splatterscribe]

This entire election. I'm over it. Over the sniping, the divisiveness, the outright it's inspired in some people. I'm hearing about long term friendships ending because one person supports Romney and the other Obama. Enough already. Just pick one of the fuckers and get over it.

[BadKitty]

This entire election. I'm over it. Over the sniping, the divisiveness, the outright it's inspired in some people. I'm hearing about long term friendships ending because one person supports Romney and the other Obama. Enough already. Just pick one of the fuckers and get over it.

Tell me about it. I've never lived in a swing state before, and now that CO is in play I'm getting deeply annoyed with the increasingly obnoxious canvasing and calls.  If only the Do Not Call list applied to political soliciting!!! 

I just tell them all I'm voting for Gary Johnson, which basically confuses them into submission.

[GiveMeGore]

I'm voting for Roseanne. Atleast we'll know KFC won't be going anywhere.