Non-horror bitch session

[GiveMeGore]

You know what I havent had in a long time? Big League Chew.

[Splatterscribe]

You know what I havent had in a long time? Big League Chew.

No kidding ,man. The convenience stores down here in my area don't even sell it anymore. When we were kids that stuff was the bomb. Of course, we didn't realize at the time that real chewing tobacco tasted like ass squared, but it was still awesome.

"Hey man, lets get some  Big League Chew".
"Why?"
"Whaddya mean why? Because it's in a fuckin' pouch, man! Like tobacco. Look at that shit..is that awesome or what?!"

Another once popular candy I haven't seen in a number of years were the little rectangular boxes of what were called "Boston Baked Beans". Those were always on the bottom shelf of the Magic Market, Little General or Step Saver candy aisle, right next to the similarly sized boxes of other cheap candy like Lemonheads and  candy cigarettes. Next to those you usually found  the five packs of Now and Laters.

[GiveMeGore]

Before every little league game, you gotta stop at the snack bar and scoop yourself up some Big League Chew and a Gatorade. Cuz, that's just what you did.

*I was hoping you'd catch onto the fact that quote was from Family Guy. I forget the exact context....but there was a really serious situation being discussed at the Griffin dinner table. Like life or death. And Peter opens his mouth "You know what I havent had in a long time? Big League Chew"   

I remember those Boston Baked Beans. They had a cinnamon kick to em, no? Shit brown color? They were AIIIIIGHT. They didnt have shit on Lemon Heads. Now those are the real deal. Got a couple of boxes of Lemon Heads in your pocket and you're ready to walk into your 4th grade classroom, chest out high like "whos got lemon heads?"  "Yeah that's right......I got lemon heads. What up!?"

[b0bo]

Just a quick question for GC and Splat. You may have addressed it in your posts and I may have missed it.
GC, you said that it is all about a relationship with God that teaches you "how to have a relationship with your parents, your children, your friends, enemies, employees, employers, co-workers, strangers, and your spouse." Wouldn't and good devoted parents teach their children the same thing? A good parent wants the best for their children, not wanting them to suffer. Of course people who have kids does not automatically make them good parents, many are still only looking out for themselves. That is why the Bible works so well. It is a tool that represents an infallible figure that is all knowing and all powerful. The guy will treat you right when you dies so long as you devote your life to him and lead by the rules that he has set out for you.
You and Splat both found God later in life after reading the Bible and being moved be its teachings. I don't think I am a bad person because I do not believe in a higher power. I am no better or worse than anyone else, I have my flaws of course but who doesn't. Let me pose this question to the two of you and anyone else who wants to answer:
 If I had known you before you found God by the teachings that you found in the bible and were saved and said to you "Listen, I know you are feeling lost, and not knowing how to live your life and what it all means. To live a happy life all you need to do is experience what life has to offer. Live, learn, love, laugh and make memories that you can look back on and smile. Treat others with the same dignity and respect that you would want them to reciprocate on to you. And take full advantage of the time you have on this earth, you only get to be here once." Again, all summed up in, Don't be an asshole.
I fully believe that my basic standards of living are just as honorable as yours, regardless of the fact that I do not attribute my purpose for doing it all because of a higher power. I do it because I want to, and everyone deserves to be treated respectfully. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter who or what you attest you morals to. So long as you are a decent person, who treats others with respect and dignity, you will have a fulfilled life.

On a lighter note, what ever happened to Warheads? I remember in Elementary school we always used to see who could hold more of those sour bastards in their mouths at once. Then one kid tried to go too far with it and threw up all over the lunchroom floor, ruining it for everyone.

[Splatterscribe]

Just a quick question for GC and Splat. You may have addressed it in your posts and I may have missed it.
GC, you said that it is all about a relationship with God that teaches you "how to have a relationship with your parents, your children, your friends, enemies, employees, employers, co-workers, strangers, and your spouse." Wouldn't and good devoted parents teach their children the same thing?

Not sure what answer you want,man. According to the faith that both GC and I live by, it's not about how much good we do..it's about the forgiveness of sins and cleansing of the human soul through the sacrificial blood of Jesus Christ. You can be the best person in the world but according to God's precise standards of perfection, you'll still sin . If you feel anger, hate, jealousy., lust, contempt..all of those are sins. That's why we need the blood of Christ, because we will always fall short of the mark due to our nature.

Now, there are people who jump on this and point out that one way to interpret this is as meaning that someone can act like a total douche their entire life, pull a last minute repent and be saved. But it really doesn't work that way. God tests our hearts and knows a con job when He sees one, so just paying lip service as a means to get out of what's coming isn't gonna fly. Repentance means you make a genuine effort to stop committing the sins and be obedient to God, not suddenly sucking up to God just before you draw your terminal breath ( On the other hand, so all encompassing is God's forgiveness and grace that, if someone truly does repent their sins after a life of evil, it's quite possible they will be saved. David Berkowitz- aka the Son of Sam killer- is a terrific example of this. He has no desire to ever be released as he realizes now the enormity of his crimes, nor does he expect forgiveness from any human being. That said, he  converted to Christianity some years back and is  spending  his days  teaching God's word to other inmates).

But hey, believe what you choose to believe.Or not believe.

[GiveMeGore]

bobo, c'mon man...... nothing to gain here......nothing to gain.


Warheads were wack as shit. Sour as fuck for a minute, then what? A hard candy straight from my great grandmothers candy dish? No thanks.

What were the Cherry equivalent to Lemon Heads? China Cherry? Something like this? They had little cartoon chinamen on the exact same box? Those were the bombdigs. Great thing about those and Lemon Heads, if you eat a bunch at a time say at 9am, come noon time you can still snack on the peices still stuck in your teeth. (Somewhere a Dentist just dropped a nut)

[Splatterscribe]

Warheads were wack as shit. Sour as fuck for a minute, then what? A hard candy straight from my great grandmothers candy dish? No thanks.

What were the Cherry equivalent to Lemon Heads? China Cherry? Something like this? They had little cartoon chinamen on the exact same box? Those were the bombdigs. Great thing about those and Lemon Heads, if you eat a bunch at a time say at 9am, come noon time you can still snack on the peices still stuck in your teeth. (Somewhere a Dentist just dropped a nut)

The China Cherry thing is new to me. Not familiar with it.
 
How about Atomic Fireballs?  I know a lot of people name Red hots as the go to "hot" candy, but the Atomic Fireball was  insane. It was essentially a jawbreaker - pretty much the candy with the most longevity-  that set your mouth on fire. They stayed spicy for a long time, too.  Crazy stuff but,man, did we kids love 'em.

[GiveMeGore]

Atomic Fireballs.....pppffff.......those are for sociopaths and sodomites. Hahahahahaha     

[Splatterscribe]

Atomic Fireballs.....pppffff.......those are for sociopaths and sodomites. Hahahahahaha     

 

(Oh no..they're on to me!)

And,yeah, I'm only referring to the sociopath part. Get your minds out of the gutter, you perverts.

[GeneralCinema]

Just a quick question for GC and Splat. You may have addressed it in your posts and I may have missed it.
GC, you said that it is all about a relationship with God that teaches you "how to have a relationship with your parents, your children, your friends, enemies, employees, employers, co-workers, strangers, and your spouse." Wouldn't and good devoted parents teach their children the same thing?

Not sure what answer you want,man. According to the faith that both GC and I live by, it's not about how much good we do..it's about the forgiveness of sins and cleansing of the human soul through the sacrificial blood of Jesus Christ. You can be the best person in the world but according to God's precise standards of perfection, you'll still sin . If you feel anger, hate, jealousy., lust, contempt..all of those are sins. That's why we need the blood of Christ, because we will always fall short of the mark due to our nature.

Now, there are people who jump on this and point out that one way to interpret this is as meaning that someone can act like a total douche their entire life, pull a last minute repent and be saved. But it really doesn't work that way. God tests our hearts and knows a con job when He sees one, so just paying lip service as a means to get out of what's coming isn't gonna fly. Repentance means you make a genuine effort to stop committing the sins and be obedient to God, not suddenly sucking up to God just before you draw your terminal breath ( On the other hand, so all encompassing is God's forgiveness and grace that, if someone truly does repent their sins after a life of evil, it's quite possible they will be saved. David Berkowitz- aka the Son of Sam killer- is a terrific example of this. He has no desire to ever be released as he realizes now the enormity of his crimes, nor does he expect forgiveness from any human being. That said, he  converted to Christianity some years back and is  spending  his days  teaching God's word to other inmates).

But hey, believe what you choose to believe.Or not believe.

The prophet Isaiah said that there is none good but God.  He also had a vision where he saw God in the temple.  Upon seeing that vision, he said that OUR righteousness is as filthy rags to him.  Since Isaiah was written in Hebrew, he used a very specific word for "filthy" a more accurate translation on the word is "menstrual".  How's that?  You can be as "good" a person as you want.  At the ABSOLUTE BEST, the goodness that you try and exude toward others (even not being an asshole) is like handing God a used tampon.  There is no righteousness without Him.

[GiveMeGore]

is like handing God a used tampon.

Consider my Giftmas made. That was brilliant. Probably the best mental visual I've had in a long time. Some sweaty, miserable, ugly woman with her eyebrows raised, handing GOD a bloody tampon she just pulled outa her meatflaps after being up there for 3 days (tough economy, can't blame her....Tampax aint cheap) "Try and make wine out of this, fucker"     

[GeneralCinema]

is like handing God a used tampon.

Consider my Giftmas made. That was brilliant. Probably the best mental visual I've had in a long time. Some sweaty, miserable, ugly woman with her eyebrows raised, handing GOD a bloody tampon she just pulled outa her meatflaps after being up there for 3 days (tough economy, can't blame her....Tampax aint cheap) "Try and make wine out of this, fucker"     

There is something seriously wrong with you.  However, the way that was worded was slightly amusing.

[GiveMeGore]

There is something seriously wrong with you.  However, the way that was worded was slightly amusing.

Nah, I'm cool.

Slightly amusing? That shit was gold, Jerry. GOLD!

haha Ovaltine.

[WL Paynecraft]

I hate all this Tebow crap.  I even hate that I'm bringing up the subject.  All you are seeing now on the news is different people doing that stupid pose.  It isn't even a kickass pose (like the Captain Morgan).  I don't give a shit about a bunch of school kids breaking the rules and kneeling down in the hallway at school, or whatever.  I don't care about seeing different people (or anybody) doing a Tebow after accomplishing anything.

I don't despise the dude.  He's all right in my book.  It's like this bumper sticker that I read once "Dear Jesus, please protect me from your followers."  No offense to the religious people here, just thought it was funny, and somewhat poignant.  It's not Tebow, it's all the unoriginal jackasses on the net that want me to see them doing this fucking thing.  At least start showing me pictures of you doing the Degeneration X "Suck it" sign or something.  That's cooler.

Ghostrider out.

[b0bo]

You can be the best person in the world but according to God's precise standards of perfection, you'll still sin . If you feel anger, hate, jealousy., lust, contempt..all of those are sins. That's why we need the blood of Christ, because we will always fall short of the mark due to our nature.

The prophet Isaiah said that there is none good but God.  He also had a vision where he saw God in the temple.  Upon seeing that vision, he said that OUR righteousness is as filthy rags to him.  Since Isaiah was written in Hebrew, he used a very specific word for "filthy" a more accurate translation on the word is "menstrual".  How's that?  You can be as "good" a person as you want.  At the ABSOLUTE BEST, the goodness that you try and exude toward others (even not being an asshole) is like handing God a used tampon.  There is no righteousness without Him.

I have to be blunt here but, to me, this is a horrible way to go through life. What purpose does it serve to live with the thought that no matter how much good you do for others, no matter how righteous of a person you are, basically it boils down to you still being a piece of shit. What makes God such an infallible figure? And not the simple reasons that "Yeah hes just God...thats how it is", or "Its what the Bible says." How can one figure be this perfect being that can absolutely do no wrong? GC paints a much more bleak picture than Splat. When I read Splats response I though "So you are basically just set up to fail because nobody can be perfect all the time". But what GC added, that is one of the most depressing things I have read in a while. It actually makes me feel a little sick and uneasy. You are a used tampon compared to God, really?! To an outsider these comparisons seem as they are meant to break one's spirit, not build it up. Basically, going to the David Berkowitz reference, he is a better person that I am. A man who killed 6 people, in the eyes of God and other Christians, is more redeemable than a guy who goes through his life not hurting others, being kind to everyone I come across and generally not being an asshole. Its bullshit. How does accepting God into his life make this guy redeemable? He is not. He is, to bring it full circle, a used, bloody, tampon.