Horrorwatch is Coming to Town (the annual Cinemascribe holiday poem)

[Splatterscribe]

This year, I decided to parody Santa Clause is Coming to Town...so it would probably help if you read this with the tune to that song playing in your head.

Horrorwatch is Coming to Town

Ohhh.. won't help if you shout
Nothing stops if you cry
Nothing gained if you pout
you're still gonna die
Horrorwatch is coming to town.

We'll watch your head split
from the blade of a knife
Dropped in a grinder
gory end to your life
Horrorwatch is coming to town!!

GC will see them gut you
Givemegore will watch while baked
Bqueen will laugh at teenaged fools
Paynecraft likes 'em carved like steak.

So doesn't help if you shout
Or be a wussy and cry
Hope you've figured it out
That you're all gonna die
Horrorwatch is coming to town!

The Horrorist cackles loudly
while Jareprime cheers the kills
Gorific just enjoys the blood
that erupts from psycho's skills

So go ahead and shout out
or if you feel like it cry
please let it all out
the very moment you die
Horrorwatch is coming to town!!

Traumamama and Vamp Vixen
enjoy dismembered parts
Doomsday and FatalTragedy
applaud a punctured heart!!

Oh you know you can't shout
And now you can't cry
They've cut your lungs out
and we're watching them fry
Horrorwatch is coming to town!
Yes..Horrorwatch is coming to town!!!!

- To my Horrorwatch family- Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Exquisite Quanzaa and whatever else may apply!! Despite the gruesome fun I've had here, I truly hope the spirit of the season is upon you and may you and yours all be safe, happy and blessed!! Happy holidays everybody!!

[FatalTragedy]

Why aren't you writing jingles for a living? I love your poems.

[Splatterscribe]

Why aren't you writing jingles for a living? I love your poems.

Given the nature of my poems here on HW, it's a fair bet that any attempt to sell a product would probably end up in dark, scary places the advertisers weren't shooting for.



I can just see it now:

"We all threw up
on McArthurs..
poisoned milk!!"

or

"I don't wanna grow up,
I'm a Toys R us kid
they've got a million toys at Toys R us
that I can maim with
I don't wanna grow up
I like hurting those kids
The games have plastic pieces
I can make a flame with

From darts to bats
I like blood splats
highest injury rate in the biz
Gee Whizz!!
I don't wanna grow up
cause buddy if I did
I couldn't harm the other young kids!!
More spikes
more pains
more gore
more brains
I wanna be a Toys R us kid!!"

See? They'd never be able to cope.

[GeneralCinema]

Both were great, but I especially liked the Toys 'R' Us Parody.

[Splatterscribe]

Both were great, but I especially liked the Toys 'R' Us Parody.

What's really funny is that you and I are probably two of the twelve people in the continental USA who actually remember the original Toys R Us jingle that inspired this, GC.

[Lord J]

Both were great, but I especially liked the Toys 'R' Us Parody.

What's really funny is that you and I are probably two of the twelve people in the continental USA who actually remember the original Toys R Us jingle that inspired this, GC.

I would be the 3rd of 12 - and, nice job on both.

[FatalTragedy]

I'm 22 and I know the jingle. You're not as old as you think.


Well, maybe a little.

[GeneralCinema]

Both were great, but I especially liked the Toys 'R' Us Parody.

What's really funny is that you and I are probably two of the twelve people in the continental USA who actually remember the original Toys R Us jingle that inspired this, GC.

You're probably right.

For those that don't remeber that particular jingle, you can probably find it on www.retrojunk.com

[Splatterscribe]

I'm 22 and I know the jingle. You're not as old as you think.


Well, maybe a little.

I'll try not to take that personally.  I'd type more but i gotta go listen to "I Wanna Hold Your Hand' by the beatles.

(Glad everyone enjoyed)

[BQueen]

Nice job CS!